Monday, January 28, 2008

A tiny brief on short criminals

Forget Rodents of Unusual Size, now we have Criminals of Limited Stature. Apparently, a rogue band of dwarfs have been zipping themselves into suitcases, allowing themselves to be loaded onto airplanes, and once airborne, cherry pick through passenger luggage, stealing items the travelers were too brainless to either leave at home or carry on their person. They target Swedes. I do not know why Swedes, rather than, say, Norwegians, make for a tastier target.

Detecting a change of airplane trajectory, the dwarfs zip themselves back into their luggage upon descent, and emerge on the luggage carousel to be retrieved by their partners, Thieves of Unlimited Physique.

I am not making this up. Well, only the Thieves of Unlimited Physique part.

The news report went on to name famous criminal dwarfs in film. (!) The travesty here is that the Time Bandits were omitted from this august list.

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