Classy insults

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill, and Churchill's reply:

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my play. Bring a friend, if you have one.

I cannot possibly attend the first night. Will attend the second, if there is one.

Drought...fire...what next? locusts?

We’re having a 50-year drought here

Groundwater levels are dropping statewide. Many wells are approaching their average yearly low water level, which is reached normally in late summer or early fall. Little if any widespread, sustained relief from the drought is anticipated. The long-term outlook is for the drought to continue to intensify. Drought conditions continue to worsen across the entire state. Of Georgia's 159 counties, 74 are classified as being in extreme drought, 79 in severe drought and six in moderate drought.

We’re having wildfire smoke here

Fire conditions throughout the region are the worst in decades, and fires are expected to burn throughout the area for at least another six weeks. In the past few weeks, smoke from wildfires has impacted metro Atlanta, with reduced visibility at Hartsfield International Airport, as well as the towns of Athens and Columbus, which are more than 250 miles from fires burning in southern part of the State.

Man vs. wild imagination

I share with you my current fave shows: The Deadliest Catch, about the Bering Sea crab fishermen, and Man vs. Wild, about Bear Grylls showing how to survive in the wild if you become a stranded hiker etc. Manly shows! Full of bravado and swearing!

Bear is the quintessential man's man, having been in the British Special Services and parachuted here and there saving people and getting his men out of impossible jams. Never mind the Marines that do more before breakfast than we do all day, Bear does more before getting out of bed than we do our whole lives.

BTW, the Deadliest Catch's narrator is the Mike from Dirty Jobs. BAM! Kick it up a notch! I love the smell of testosterone in the morning.

So anyway, in last night's repeat episode of Man Vs Wild, Bear stranded himself in the European Alps and showed how to get out alive. At one point, reconstructing a 'what to do when you fall in the frozen lake' scenario unfortunately endured (fatally) in recent times by a Swiss hiker, Bear jumped in the lake. To avoid hypothermia, you have to strip off the wet clothes and do some other things, which I cannot remember anything after he stripped.

So I was googling that scene, to view it again on either video or to read about it on the chat boards. High minded reasons, you see. I typed in "Bear Grylls naked" and came to a blog entry of a show fan who complained that too many people were typing "Bear Grylls naked" on Google searches. I hate being a cliche.

Offbeat art show will highlight Portland Maine

Art TV show features cross-country search for offbeat, kitsch

A new 8-week art show called "Artland: USA" will debut in the fall, and includes stops at 50 cities nationwide, inlcuding Portland, Maine. They are looking for America's most offbeat, kitschy art.

"The show's eight-member crew this month kicked off filming the second season in Florida and will cross the country in a Winnebago for eight weeks of filming America's most offbeat, kitschy art, ending in Alaska in July" states the AP article.

Current addictions

Bear Grylls
He is hot! And his tips could save my life too, but man, he’s hot! Man vs. Wild on Discovery. Holy moly, read his Bio. He parachutes into wild remote areas in the world where tourists/hikers/rafters typically get lost and then shows you how to survive and get out. Build an ice cave! Make a raft to float the rapids! Avoid vipers in the desert! Outsmart a rhino! Bear does it all, and usually without a shirt.

Cup of Karma Café's...
...Asian salad with pecan encrusted salmon. Spinach, almonds, mandarin oranges, feta cheese, crunchy noodles, and that chilled pecan encrusted seafood delight on top. Yum yum!!!! Addicted...and the Cafe is only 4 miles from my home. Oh no.

AFV
It’s another case of a show has been on for 16 years but I'm just finding it now. I love the videos of pets and kids, especially the babies' expressions when they eat prunes etc. And the ones where too many jumpers are on the trampoline just slay me. I mean, can't they see it coming??

my new4X4
Vroom vroom

Everything is nearby, except...

On Bush, Carter, and Fratto's retort

I read an article from the Associated Press this morning “White House Hits Back at Carter Remarks.” This was a response to former President Jimmy Carter’s stated opinion of current President Bush’s foreign policy administration as “the worst in history.” No matter what one thinks of President Bush, no matter what one thinks of President Carter, no matter what one thinks of what Carter said about Bush, I was disappointed to hear the retort made by White House spokesman Tony Fratto. Fratto said, "And I think he [Carter] is proving to be increasingly irrelevant with these kinds of comments."

It was a not so subtle dig at Carter’s age. Unfortunately, 'irrelevant’ is how many people in America view older people. What a shame that the man who speaks for the leader of the free world characterizes 83-year old vital, Nobel Peace prize winning humanitarian-statesman-author Jimmy Carter as “irrelevant,” and during Older Americans Month no less. This is the best that Bush's people could come up with? Here is a sample response which Mr. Fratto can feel free to use:

"While we respect President's Carter's contributions on the world stage, we are saddened to hear of his opinion of this Administration's work on behalf of the American people."

Or:

"We have no comment to make about any one particular opinion but we respect the individual's right to speak their opinions freely here in America even as we remember that those same rights are denied to others in foreign lands."

Is that so hard?

My new (to me) vehicle

I've gone SUV. Between all the deer crashes around here and the fact that every other person either is a stay at home mom with a huge van or a farmer with a truck, I feel safer going with the flow and getting a larger vehicle. And it was a good deal. Very good.

Ford Explorer Limited, 1993, burgundy with roof rack to fog lights and even a CD player inside. Best of all, A/C that works!! Stylin'!

How did I do without this before?

Having more time on my hands the other day than was entirely necessary, I decided to "personalize" my home page on Google.

I use gmail for my business, and I go to the Google search page a lot, so I decide to take Google up on their offer and put more gadgets on a personalized home page. I used to think those were silly. Now I think personalized home pages are as important as sliced bread. Or the next thing to it.

Right at the top, of course, I put my mail. And the time and calendar, so I can check to see how long it has been since the last time I checked the home page. And weather, very important in the Deep South, where soon I will read the thermometer with all the fascination of rubbernecking accident victims, as the mercury will climb to the three digits and stay there for two months or more. It's the same as in the north and you call your neighbor and say, "Well. It's 3 degrees out. Wind chill 22 below. How 'bout that," with all the tone of a gloating martyr supremely satisfied at how tough we can take it. "Well. It's 102 out. Heat index 226 degrees. Humidity 2000 percent. How 'bout that. Think I'll take a walk." Yes, I want the weather right at my fingertips.

In the second tier I have news from CNN and the AP because I'm supposed to be a grownup and care about "Rise in Foreclosures Will Not Hurt Economy" and 'Estonia suspects Kremlin in Web attacks.' But then comes all my fru-fru widgets that make having a personalized page worth it. I have lots of "...Of the Day" widgets. Art of the Day, very cool. Yesterday was something by the Van Limburg brothers, a Renaissance piece I took quite a liking to, "The Healing of a Possessed" with a cherub-looking all-black demon flying out of some guy's head that Jesus is praying over, with the audience standing by going "How 'bout that." There's a link so you can find out more about the artist.

National Geographic Photo of the Day, shows me just how far I have to go to take a good shot. Like an ant walking to the moon. Some nice pictures, she said with Yankee understatement. And the Cat of the Day. This one tickles me. The shots aren't all that great, usually a cat lying there or sitting there, and its name. Sometimes the photographer got creative and took one with the cat nestled on his laptop, or curled up in a sink, or got its head jammed in the water glass. But I love seeing the endless variety of cats, shapes, sizes, names. Cats are cute, darnit. Sometimes I refresh the page just to see another one.

The widget I like best is the "Local gas prices" for my zip code. You can scroll down and see what the places around here are charging today. I've been watching one particular store all week, consistently the lowest at $2.69/gal. So naturally I put off getting gas until I was so low on fuel that the 'you are about to become stranded in rural GA' light came on and the only place nearby happened to be charging the highest amount in the list. But it was good to know I got gas at the most expensive place in the zip code that day.

So that's my personalize home page. It sure doesn't take much to amuse me. How 'bout that.

This is not yard art

The bunny is real. He is on my lawn. Thomas the tom cat pranced by, the cat not looking at the bunny, the bunny not looking at the cat. A peacable kingdom. For now.