Thursday, September 07, 2006

A day in the life

I am making huge progress on my “Month of Me”, the time I am deliberately taking between one career and the next. For example, yesterday, I bought a futon cover. This is more complicated than it seems. First, I had to get dressed. Not like I lie around in my pj's (all that much) but I had to put on 'outside clothes' that were non-stained, constrictive to my body, and all in one piece with no rips. That no one would run screaming from should I encounter any sentient humans on my odyssey. Phew. I needed a rest.

Then, I had to get up. Yes, launch myself from the antique swivel oak editor's chair in front of my beloved computer, my computer that brings me the world, so why do I need to go out into it? and extend my legs to their full and locked position. Ouch. I prefer sitting.

Most dauntingly, I had to use my car. A jalopy in sleek professional guise, it is literally falling apart. It sounds like its rear wheel is going to fall off, and I have long since given up allowing people to sit in the back over said offending wheel. They get nervous. Lucky front seat passengers started taking take bets on how long will it be until we hear a plaintive voice from the back seat asking, “Er, do you hear that noise?"

The drive to the city of Portland consumes more gas than I am willing to put into said crappy jalopy, but in order to have the car propel itself for that distance in its entirety, it must be done. Sigh. Gas station arrived at and large amounts of dollars are exchanged.

However, things perked up after victoriously parking in a spot right in front of the destination establishment while studiously ignoring the “Bus stop” sign. I entered and went straight to the sale covers. The sale was what had drawn me, after all, I have a futon that will now need to become my couch. The previous cover was torn asunder leaving mattress exposed and nakedly white under paws and claws of cavorting dogs and cats. It now looks like a hospital ward mattress.

Eschewing the mythical $22 sale covers which had drawn me there, I found a wonderful microfiber soft suede plush cover in teal. It was the most expensive of the sale covers, which sort of defeated my purpose in going to this particular store on sale with the intent of being frugal. But who could resist the soft velvet material brushing against bare skin? Who can blame me for feasting my eyes on soft colors and tushy-cushy-plushy? I cannot. It would take a much stronger woman than I. Heck, it even came with two pillows. It had me at hello.

The ride home resulted in a long diatribe against my wallet, which had the audacity to open itself enticingly to the store clerk. And the drive also included a rationalization that my futon, a poor and used cousin to the gloriously new furniture ensconced inside my new hardwood flooring adorned apartment needed to look like it belonged. “We beeeelonnnng!” sings my apartment chorus. Click here to get your own apartment chorus.

The cover is so beautiful and so soft I may never get up again.


Anonymous said...

Relax and Enjoy!! I just Love your ability to express yourself sooo well. Who else could make such a 'wonderful adventure' out of shopping for a Fouton Cover! It's such Fun to read about "A Day in the Life of Elizabeth"! YOU will be missed in our little Town.

Elizabeth Prata said...

Thanks, I had fun writing it. It feels good to be able to write stuff that's different from strict journalism. Truly, sometimes I'd go home after a long meetings, where absurd things happened and weird things were said, and I'd write a funny version of it, for my own entertainment.