You say blanket, I say quilt

Scene, the County Fairgrounds, late afternoon, high sun and warm. The bleachers were filling with people attending the Relay for Life benefit, which was listening to different musical acts scheduled every thirty minutes between 5 and 9 p.m. The ladies of Oak Grove Church organized the benefit. They cooked pound cakes, they made quilts. They were ready.

In between musical acts there were raffles. In one raffle, the MC extolled the virtues of the prize ‘blanket’. It was actually a carefully crafted hand-sewn quilt. Each time the gruff, cowboyhatted, older man MC said ‘blanket’ the ladies in the audience got more agitated.

Fed up, one older lady finally shouted: “HEY!”

“Hey yourself,” said the MC

“It’s a QUILT!”

“What’s the difference? It keep you warm!?”

The ladies later straightened him out and he continued raffling the ‘quilt’. When it got time for the drawing he announced that the quilt came with two ‘pillow shams.’ “I ain’t gonna try to explain that one!” he grinned.

“It’s for the extra pillows!” the ladies shouted.

“You mean those things I throw on the floor and my wife yells at me?”

Tact ain’t his strength. Lesson: don’t mess with the ladies!